Meant to say in my previous post, about discipline etc, that I think the more children there are in a family the more we all have to take different needs into account and all be considerate of one another, which logically means not being able to follow every child's every whim and needing to be a bit more firm at times, for the sake of everyone. I enjoy having a level of freedom at home for my kids, allowing them to take risks etc, but going from one to two children did mean I had to change some aspects of parenting, and I can imagine if I had 4, 5 or 6 young children I would need to be running on a whole other level of organisation! So I think of the discipline at school in that sense - ie necessarily more strict than feels natural for me, but stillin the context of a loving family.
To get my perspective right I try to think of my priority as being God-led rather than child-led, and as the attitude at school is to be God-led I pray that He is indeed leading and guiding us, giving us wisdom and sensitivity for each child. I am also really pleased that the school's stance is that we don't punish the kids (because Jesus has already taken the punishment) - we simply seek to help them see that there are consequences to our actions, and we always get alongside them one-on-one for a chat and a pray if a situation arises, and we see each new lesson as a fresh start so the kids always experience grace and the chance to start afresh :)
At home I'm relatively permissive, partly because I can be with having less kids, and partly because my tolerance levels are pretty high, eg I'm perfectly happy for my house to be used as a jungle gym, and I'm not overly bothered about pleases and thank you's etc... I tend just to intervene if someone is posing a danger to themselves or others (physically or emotionally), or if they are likely to damage something that matters. At school because there are lots of families working together, as well as higher numbers, we need to be a bit more clear on expectations to help facilitate harmony between us, which I think is a beautiful thing and certainly good for everyone, kids and adults alike! We also all learn from each other which helps avoid a blinkered view of parenting.
In keeping with the democratic spirit of the school I would like to have a session with the kids to see what rules and consequences they think would help us all get along because it would help them feel empowered in, and have ownership of, the whole process, and in any case they would probably come up with the same sort of stuff as anyone or maybe actually have better ideas. Maybe I'll suggest this :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A thoughtful post with lots to ponder over :)
ReplyDeleteI have often had the conversation in schools along the lines of wanting to encourage children to become the individuals that they are destined to be, allowing them to be different and not "fit in" in their own unique ways, but at the same time needing to be capable of fitting into the society "norm" so that they can find their place in it to find a happy and fulfilled life.
This manifests itself in all sorts of ways but mostly in the need to be able to choose to conform to the group as and when necessary, whether it be sitting still and quietly in assembly, learning to share, or taking part in an activity even if you would not normally chose to.