Discipline

Meant to say in my previous post, about discipline etc, that I think the more children there are in a family the more we all have to take different needs into account and all be considerate of one another, which logically means not being able to follow every child's every whim and needing to be a bit more firm at times, for the sake of everyone. I enjoy having a level of freedom at home for my kids, allowing them to take risks etc, but going from one to two children did mean I had to change some aspects of parenting, and I can imagine if I had 4, 5 or 6 young children I would need to be running on a whole other level of organisation! So I think of the discipline at school in that sense - ie necessarily more strict than feels natural for me, but stillin the context of a loving family.

To get my perspective right I try to think of my priority as being God-led rather than child-led, and as the attitude at school is to be God-led I pray that He is indeed leading and guiding us, giving us wisdom and sensitivity for each child. I am also really pleased that the school's stance is that we don't punish the kids (because Jesus has already taken the punishment) - we simply seek to help them see that there are consequences to our actions, and we always get alongside them one-on-one for a chat and a pray if a situation arises, and we see each new lesson as a fresh start so the kids always experience grace and the chance to start afresh :)

At home I'm relatively permissive, partly because I can be with having less kids, and partly because my tolerance levels are pretty high, eg I'm perfectly happy for my house to be used as a jungle gym, and I'm not overly bothered about pleases and thank you's etc... I tend just to intervene if someone is posing a danger to themselves or others (physically or emotionally), or if they are likely to damage something that matters. At school because there are lots of families working together, as well as higher numbers, we need to be a bit more clear on expectations to help facilitate harmony between us, which I think is a beautiful thing and certainly good for everyone, kids and adults alike! We also all learn from each other which helps avoid a blinkered view of parenting.

In keeping with the democratic spirit of the school I would like to have a session with the kids to see what rules and consequences they think would help us all get along because it would help them feel empowered in, and have ownership of, the whole process, and in any case they would probably come up with the same sort of stuff as anyone or maybe actually have better ideas. Maybe I'll suggest this :)

Reflecting

We start back at school tomorrow after our first ever half term! It's been nice to have a week and a bit off, and we will only be in two days this week as reception don't go in on Fridays (which is a half day anyway), but I'm so pleased with our decision to go for it. It took a lot of processing (for me anyway!) because we had been so set on home educating for at least the early years so as to allow for a whole host of things such as being able to be running around outdoors as much as the kids wanted to, having freedom to follow their interests, not being constrained/stifled by a timetable etc. But when we decided to move to Sheffield,and I knew about this little parent-run school, I couldn't not visit. When I first went I felt so welcome and I felt my kids were truly valued, both by the other parents and the children. I felt surprisingly emotional and my children really enjoyed it (the kids there played with the little one picking him up and spinning him round etc). There were aspects about it that went against the grain, such as discipline-style and a timetabled day, but something about it was attractive; they were like one big family. Over the months I visited a lot and met up with families for many a playdate and in the end it came down to this: what was I going to choose to trust - an educational theory or where I felt God was saying is the right place for my children - after all, he knows best! I really believe in home education but I also came to accept that different things working for different families means that my family, being quite different from many, needs something different even to what I had been thinking.

I feel so blessed to have God providing this amazing little school for us. We are all thriving because of it. I am surrounded by a support network, my children have friends whose company they really enjoy, and who have been easy for them to get to know thanks to the very small numbers, and Josh doesn't have a frazzled wife! My eldest has come on so much in the last half term I can't get over it. He is so much more calm and content than he was before we joined I can't quite believe it! He had been having some quite spectacular tantrums before but they have stopped. He loves all the mental stimulation; he needs more activities in a day than I can provide. The timetable and discipline-style are things he has got used to now and he actually seems to like the structure they bring. He says there are aspects about school he doesn't like but he's happy to be there for all of it because he likes the rest of it so much. He's really creative so he loves art and craft, and he loves the idea of being a scientist so he really enjoys doing actual scientific experiments (like making a balloon shoot along a piece of string etc), he likes chatting with his friends over liunch and learning playground games like tig and what's the time mr wolf. He also enjoys a lot of other stuff such as PE, and the mum who has him on a Monday morning says he always has the most exciting weekend news! I do try to wrap his school day and week with lots of outdoor adventure (as well as downtime) :)

I can't get over how much of a blessing the school is to us. It doesn't feel like an institution because it's so small and personal with everyone teaching their own and each other's kids; the whole thing is built on relationship. In some ways it's not easy but I love it! It has been up to my eldest whether he wants to go so I am encouraged knowing that it's his choice to be there :)

Teaching has proved a challenge, especially as reception were as unused to the environment as me at the beginning of this first half term, and we all just wanted to play, but I've got into more of a groove now - I was finding it really stressful at first but I've got to know the kids and I'm finding my way of working within the context of how things roll at the school. I really feel part of a team and know that anything I want to suggest will be considered, in a democratic way :) I love that my children will be part of such a loving community for all their school years. It's a very nurturing environment and we have been truly welcomed into the fold; my children are really happy and that is what I want for them - whether or not his learning is affected (for good or bad)is a secondary issue for me - his social and emotional wellbeing come first (by saying that I don't in any way mean I don't think his social needs would be met if we were home educating - what I mean is I want him to have a happy and settled upbringing), and I believe in our situation he and the rest of us will fair better in those respects where we are :) I'm so thankful it is an option because it's a very unique set-up! xx