I've decided to try and get to my blog at least once a week (ideally everyday but that's not realistic!) to log whatever springs to mind that I'm thankful for. This is something I've decided to encourage in my kids and family this year, so I figured I should do it myself too! It will also serve as a little record for me :)
So my new year family goals include hoping to remember to:
Ask the kids each day at random moments what they're thankful for in that moment.
At least once a week to hopefully manage to, while the family all happen to be together (eg tea time), write down/draw things that each of us feel thankful for that day, and stick these up to help us remember life's blessings amidst any trials.
Ask the kids at bedtime if they can think of 3 good things that happened to them or that they did that day, hoping that this will help them slow down and dwell on positive experiences as well as talking through those less-so.
Keep a box of thank you cards out as an invitation to give thanks to someone when they've done something for us that's gone un-thanked, thus helping the kids express what they feel thankful for (they'll have to dictate to me!)
So today I'm thankful for a houseful of new friends in our new city. For a house that's practically in a park. For a supportive and loving family. For holding a 5lb baby who is in good hands. For sponateous bread and butter pudding-making, inspired by my 5 yr old's 'concoction'. For children that are generally happy to eat healthy food. For the Holy Experience blog that inspired my family gratitude stuff. For Lauren Mallon who introduced me to said blog.. And for Aldi!
Happy new year; here's to choosing to think about "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—anything that is excellent or praiseworthy" (The Bible). 2012: a year of cultivating gratitude whatever comes our way!
Saturday 31 December 2011
Thursday 3 November 2011
Discipline
Meant to say in my previous post, about discipline etc, that I think the more children there are in a family the more we all have to take different needs into account and all be considerate of one another, which logically means not being able to follow every child's every whim and needing to be a bit more firm at times, for the sake of everyone. I enjoy having a level of freedom at home for my kids, allowing them to take risks etc, but going from one to two children did mean I had to change some aspects of parenting, and I can imagine if I had 4, 5 or 6 young children I would need to be running on a whole other level of organisation! So I think of the discipline at school in that sense - ie necessarily more strict than feels natural for me, but stillin the context of a loving family.
To get my perspective right I try to think of my priority as being God-led rather than child-led, and as the attitude at school is to be God-led I pray that He is indeed leading and guiding us, giving us wisdom and sensitivity for each child. I am also really pleased that the school's stance is that we don't punish the kids (because Jesus has already taken the punishment) - we simply seek to help them see that there are consequences to our actions, and we always get alongside them one-on-one for a chat and a pray if a situation arises, and we see each new lesson as a fresh start so the kids always experience grace and the chance to start afresh :)
At home I'm relatively permissive, partly because I can be with having less kids, and partly because my tolerance levels are pretty high, eg I'm perfectly happy for my house to be used as a jungle gym, and I'm not overly bothered about pleases and thank you's etc... I tend just to intervene if someone is posing a danger to themselves or others (physically or emotionally), or if they are likely to damage something that matters. At school because there are lots of families working together, as well as higher numbers, we need to be a bit more clear on expectations to help facilitate harmony between us, which I think is a beautiful thing and certainly good for everyone, kids and adults alike! We also all learn from each other which helps avoid a blinkered view of parenting.
In keeping with the democratic spirit of the school I would like to have a session with the kids to see what rules and consequences they think would help us all get along because it would help them feel empowered in, and have ownership of, the whole process, and in any case they would probably come up with the same sort of stuff as anyone or maybe actually have better ideas. Maybe I'll suggest this :)
To get my perspective right I try to think of my priority as being God-led rather than child-led, and as the attitude at school is to be God-led I pray that He is indeed leading and guiding us, giving us wisdom and sensitivity for each child. I am also really pleased that the school's stance is that we don't punish the kids (because Jesus has already taken the punishment) - we simply seek to help them see that there are consequences to our actions, and we always get alongside them one-on-one for a chat and a pray if a situation arises, and we see each new lesson as a fresh start so the kids always experience grace and the chance to start afresh :)
At home I'm relatively permissive, partly because I can be with having less kids, and partly because my tolerance levels are pretty high, eg I'm perfectly happy for my house to be used as a jungle gym, and I'm not overly bothered about pleases and thank you's etc... I tend just to intervene if someone is posing a danger to themselves or others (physically or emotionally), or if they are likely to damage something that matters. At school because there are lots of families working together, as well as higher numbers, we need to be a bit more clear on expectations to help facilitate harmony between us, which I think is a beautiful thing and certainly good for everyone, kids and adults alike! We also all learn from each other which helps avoid a blinkered view of parenting.
In keeping with the democratic spirit of the school I would like to have a session with the kids to see what rules and consequences they think would help us all get along because it would help them feel empowered in, and have ownership of, the whole process, and in any case they would probably come up with the same sort of stuff as anyone or maybe actually have better ideas. Maybe I'll suggest this :)
Wednesday 2 November 2011
Reflecting
We start back at school tomorrow after our first ever half term! It's been nice to have a week and a bit off, and we will only be in two days this week as reception don't go in on Fridays (which is a half day anyway), but I'm so pleased with our decision to go for it. It took a lot of processing (for me anyway!) because we had been so set on home educating for at least the early years so as to allow for a whole host of things such as being able to be running around outdoors as much as the kids wanted to, having freedom to follow their interests, not being constrained/stifled by a timetable etc. But when we decided to move to Sheffield,and I knew about this little parent-run school, I couldn't not visit. When I first went I felt so welcome and I felt my kids were truly valued, both by the other parents and the children. I felt surprisingly emotional and my children really enjoyed it (the kids there played with the little one picking him up and spinning him round etc). There were aspects about it that went against the grain, such as discipline-style and a timetabled day, but something about it was attractive; they were like one big family. Over the months I visited a lot and met up with families for many a playdate and in the end it came down to this: what was I going to choose to trust - an educational theory or where I felt God was saying is the right place for my children - after all, he knows best! I really believe in home education but I also came to accept that different things working for different families means that my family, being quite different from many, needs something different even to what I had been thinking.
I feel so blessed to have God providing this amazing little school for us. We are all thriving because of it. I am surrounded by a support network, my children have friends whose company they really enjoy, and who have been easy for them to get to know thanks to the very small numbers, and Josh doesn't have a frazzled wife! My eldest has come on so much in the last half term I can't get over it. He is so much more calm and content than he was before we joined I can't quite believe it! He had been having some quite spectacular tantrums before but they have stopped. He loves all the mental stimulation; he needs more activities in a day than I can provide. The timetable and discipline-style are things he has got used to now and he actually seems to like the structure they bring. He says there are aspects about school he doesn't like but he's happy to be there for all of it because he likes the rest of it so much. He's really creative so he loves art and craft, and he loves the idea of being a scientist so he really enjoys doing actual scientific experiments (like making a balloon shoot along a piece of string etc), he likes chatting with his friends over liunch and learning playground games like tig and what's the time mr wolf. He also enjoys a lot of other stuff such as PE, and the mum who has him on a Monday morning says he always has the most exciting weekend news! I do try to wrap his school day and week with lots of outdoor adventure (as well as downtime) :)
I can't get over how much of a blessing the school is to us. It doesn't feel like an institution because it's so small and personal with everyone teaching their own and each other's kids; the whole thing is built on relationship. In some ways it's not easy but I love it! It has been up to my eldest whether he wants to go so I am encouraged knowing that it's his choice to be there :)
Teaching has proved a challenge, especially as reception were as unused to the environment as me at the beginning of this first half term, and we all just wanted to play, but I've got into more of a groove now - I was finding it really stressful at first but I've got to know the kids and I'm finding my way of working within the context of how things roll at the school. I really feel part of a team and know that anything I want to suggest will be considered, in a democratic way :) I love that my children will be part of such a loving community for all their school years. It's a very nurturing environment and we have been truly welcomed into the fold; my children are really happy and that is what I want for them - whether or not his learning is affected (for good or bad)is a secondary issue for me - his social and emotional wellbeing come first (by saying that I don't in any way mean I don't think his social needs would be met if we were home educating - what I mean is I want him to have a happy and settled upbringing), and I believe in our situation he and the rest of us will fair better in those respects where we are :) I'm so thankful it is an option because it's a very unique set-up! xx
I feel so blessed to have God providing this amazing little school for us. We are all thriving because of it. I am surrounded by a support network, my children have friends whose company they really enjoy, and who have been easy for them to get to know thanks to the very small numbers, and Josh doesn't have a frazzled wife! My eldest has come on so much in the last half term I can't get over it. He is so much more calm and content than he was before we joined I can't quite believe it! He had been having some quite spectacular tantrums before but they have stopped. He loves all the mental stimulation; he needs more activities in a day than I can provide. The timetable and discipline-style are things he has got used to now and he actually seems to like the structure they bring. He says there are aspects about school he doesn't like but he's happy to be there for all of it because he likes the rest of it so much. He's really creative so he loves art and craft, and he loves the idea of being a scientist so he really enjoys doing actual scientific experiments (like making a balloon shoot along a piece of string etc), he likes chatting with his friends over liunch and learning playground games like tig and what's the time mr wolf. He also enjoys a lot of other stuff such as PE, and the mum who has him on a Monday morning says he always has the most exciting weekend news! I do try to wrap his school day and week with lots of outdoor adventure (as well as downtime) :)
I can't get over how much of a blessing the school is to us. It doesn't feel like an institution because it's so small and personal with everyone teaching their own and each other's kids; the whole thing is built on relationship. In some ways it's not easy but I love it! It has been up to my eldest whether he wants to go so I am encouraged knowing that it's his choice to be there :)
Teaching has proved a challenge, especially as reception were as unused to the environment as me at the beginning of this first half term, and we all just wanted to play, but I've got into more of a groove now - I was finding it really stressful at first but I've got to know the kids and I'm finding my way of working within the context of how things roll at the school. I really feel part of a team and know that anything I want to suggest will be considered, in a democratic way :) I love that my children will be part of such a loving community for all their school years. It's a very nurturing environment and we have been truly welcomed into the fold; my children are really happy and that is what I want for them - whether or not his learning is affected (for good or bad)is a secondary issue for me - his social and emotional wellbeing come first (by saying that I don't in any way mean I don't think his social needs would be met if we were home educating - what I mean is I want him to have a happy and settled upbringing), and I believe in our situation he and the rest of us will fair better in those respects where we are :) I'm so thankful it is an option because it's a very unique set-up! xx
Friday 28 October 2011
New life unfolding...
Today has been an example of some of the benefits of having family close-by...
I had a lovely morning at home with the kids who played nicely in various ways including strewning cooked spaghetti around the living room while I was upstairs... and also having an extended bath together :) We then drove to my parents' who looked after them for the afternoon while I went out!! Doing something non child-friendly is pretty much unheard of for me but today I went wedding dress shopping with one of my bestest friends in the world and it was really lovely :) We even had nice food between appointments, and a Starbucks before heading back - bliss!
I feel totally rejuvinated and even willingly threw myself into the washing up upon return, which had been piling up for days and thus had taken over the kitchen! Taking a bit of time out with people now and then definitely boosts my emotional energy thereby making me a better mummy and happier person :) I am so blessed to have parents who are eager to enable me to do that; children definitely benefit from happy mummies :)
I'm also feeling excited about getting involved at a church here in Sheff. I felt overwhelmed by the options at first and we intended to go somewhere not too big so it would be easy to know everyone etc, but it looks like we're settling at my sister's church which is bigger than the one we went to in Liverpool... God knows what he's doing - our eldest asks to go there and knows other kids there, and Josh is finding the current series on Life Shapes interesting (basically about modelling your life on how Jesus lived his life, and using shapes to help you remember the principles, if that makes sense... It works for Josh anyway, coz he's quite visual)...
I figured I'd be happy wherever as long as the family was happy but I am feeling particularly excited about being part of this church - the speakers so far seem so wise and humble, there's lots of practical help available for real life issues (eg we're signing up for a course on money management run by Christians Against Poverty), and the small group we went along to last week in someone's house for a bring & share brunch is exceptionally family-friendly and there is no pressure whatsoever - it's genuinely relational and we all really enjoyed ourselves there and felt welcome and relaxed :) They do various things from making food for the homeless through praying for each other to going out for meals, doing joint craft activities and more. I'm inviting any of them that want to, to ours to bake bread next week from the sour dough culture I have fermenting away, and the boys and I are going round to the leaders' for a liquid soap-making play date next week, which I'm hoping will make good Christmas presents (ssshhh)!
My sister and her husband are moving to America in a few weeks. I had thought we might just take up their place in their friendship group (..joking! ..sort of...), but it turns out it doesn't work like that!..
Night night xxxxxxx
I had a lovely morning at home with the kids who played nicely in various ways including strewning cooked spaghetti around the living room while I was upstairs... and also having an extended bath together :) We then drove to my parents' who looked after them for the afternoon while I went out!! Doing something non child-friendly is pretty much unheard of for me but today I went wedding dress shopping with one of my bestest friends in the world and it was really lovely :) We even had nice food between appointments, and a Starbucks before heading back - bliss!
I feel totally rejuvinated and even willingly threw myself into the washing up upon return, which had been piling up for days and thus had taken over the kitchen! Taking a bit of time out with people now and then definitely boosts my emotional energy thereby making me a better mummy and happier person :) I am so blessed to have parents who are eager to enable me to do that; children definitely benefit from happy mummies :)
I'm also feeling excited about getting involved at a church here in Sheff. I felt overwhelmed by the options at first and we intended to go somewhere not too big so it would be easy to know everyone etc, but it looks like we're settling at my sister's church which is bigger than the one we went to in Liverpool... God knows what he's doing - our eldest asks to go there and knows other kids there, and Josh is finding the current series on Life Shapes interesting (basically about modelling your life on how Jesus lived his life, and using shapes to help you remember the principles, if that makes sense... It works for Josh anyway, coz he's quite visual)...
I figured I'd be happy wherever as long as the family was happy but I am feeling particularly excited about being part of this church - the speakers so far seem so wise and humble, there's lots of practical help available for real life issues (eg we're signing up for a course on money management run by Christians Against Poverty), and the small group we went along to last week in someone's house for a bring & share brunch is exceptionally family-friendly and there is no pressure whatsoever - it's genuinely relational and we all really enjoyed ourselves there and felt welcome and relaxed :) They do various things from making food for the homeless through praying for each other to going out for meals, doing joint craft activities and more. I'm inviting any of them that want to, to ours to bake bread next week from the sour dough culture I have fermenting away, and the boys and I are going round to the leaders' for a liquid soap-making play date next week, which I'm hoping will make good Christmas presents (ssshhh)!
My sister and her husband are moving to America in a few weeks. I had thought we might just take up their place in their friendship group (..joking! ..sort of...), but it turns out it doesn't work like that!..
Night night xxxxxxx
Thursday 27 October 2011
All Change
Ahem... Two years on and I'm still here, raring to go with this blogging thing...
Lots has happened since my last post (not surprisingly...)
Josh got a new job in Sheffield, we have now all moved there having (just) survived 5 months of him living there Sun-Fri during what turned out to be a very l-o-n-g probabtion period, and our eldest little man has started school (something we never intended, even if it is a somewhat unconventional one)!
Lots has happened since my last post (not surprisingly...)
Josh got a new job in Sheffield, we have now all moved there having (just) survived 5 months of him living there Sun-Fri during what turned out to be a very l-o-n-g probabtion period, and our eldest little man has started school (something we never intended, even if it is a somewhat unconventional one)!
As a result of all this, and not least thanks to my family living in Sheffield, we are all feeling a lot happier than we had been :) I feel like we've been dragged through a hedge backwards over the last 3 years, but things are definitely settling of late and it's like I'm finding myself again :) Still a lot going on but that's the journey of life I guess!
The house we're renting is in a lovely setting. The area doesn't have the best reputation in Sheffield but I didn't want to be cut off in suburbia (not that we could afford it), plus we pretty much live in the park save a stone wall (our street isn't actually a street - it's a walkway up the side of the park) - so in the words of our eldest a few days after we'd moved in, "Isn't it nice we live somewhere so quiet, mummy" :) We're actually in walking distance from the city centre so it's a convenient location too, as well as being so close to the Peak District which has already provided a good few days outdoor explorations :)
That'll do for now - hoping for some sleep amidst night weaning my now 2 1/2 year old! He's doing well with it bless him xxx
The house we're renting is in a lovely setting. The area doesn't have the best reputation in Sheffield but I didn't want to be cut off in suburbia (not that we could afford it), plus we pretty much live in the park save a stone wall (our street isn't actually a street - it's a walkway up the side of the park) - so in the words of our eldest a few days after we'd moved in, "Isn't it nice we live somewhere so quiet, mummy" :) We're actually in walking distance from the city centre so it's a convenient location too, as well as being so close to the Peak District which has already provided a good few days outdoor explorations :)
That'll do for now - hoping for some sleep amidst night weaning my now 2 1/2 year old! He's doing well with it bless him xxx
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