Not coffee

I just facilitated an RE afternoon with foundation 2 (aka reception) and am sitting in Starbucks round the corner til pick-up :) Thought I'd share a bible exert that I find encouraging with the tenses changed from past to present :)  "Instead, God chooses things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chooses things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chooses things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and uses them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God." (1 Corinthians 1:27-29)

The Weekend

Thought I'd give a post title that sounds like it could be a film :) Wasn't sure where to pick up from but as it's Monday the weekend seems to make sense - like 'show and tell' that I used to facilitate in our little family school :) I loved hearing about what they'd been up to :)

So on Saturday I had a day of 'inner healing' at church while my mum had the kids! I got them all up, dressed and fed, and took Eddie to his swimming lesson and my mum took over from there :) 

We were really well looked after at church - croissants etc for breakfast, lunch laid on for us :) The team made us feel really loved, wanted, valued and welcome :) The theme of the day was 'blessing' :) We looked at what the bible says about how powerful our words can be to bless and to curse. We received individual prayer and we had a lovely, peaceful day :)

I returned to my blessed brood just as Bilbo was beginning to teeter on the edge of freneticisn, not knowing what to do with himself. My parents were brilliant with them. I'm so thankful for them :) They had obviously been having fun - there was evidence everywhere: paint, balloons, junk modelling, bikes :) It was what some call 'the grot slot' though so good timing for an extra pair of hands I think :) I ran a bath for Freddie and suggested putting the telly on for the other two but they went loopy in the garden instead and the swing frame ended up horizontal but I think that was due to the mud as much as anything :) We got some food in them then I took them to feed their dad's cat (he's away) and then proceeded with bedtime at home.

Yesterday we went to church where Freddie bounded up to his god father who scooped him up in his arms and Freddie gave him a big squeeze cuddle and stayed with him during sung worship as he often does :) It has been so immensely helpful for me since he's been doing that because it means I only have two to keep track of :) -At the inner healing day one of the people who prayed for me referred to the boys' "super-human energy"!! They do charge about a lot! I think in church it's partly nervous energy because it's a big space and sometimes Bilbo just doesn't know where to put himself. Things are getting easier lately with there being more things to focus on such as a giant white board to write/draw on (there's  just the challenge of keeping contributions appropriate sometimes!) :)

After church I took the boys into the Peak District. They complained to high heaven in the car but I knew I just needed to grit my teeth and they'd be happy as soon as we were there, and they were :) We had a lovely time :) Sunday afternoons can sometimes be a bit lonely if I haven't arranged in advance to meet up with another family but it is nice to just be us sometimes too, if tiring. I do like adult company though. Another lady at church was saying she finds Sunday afternoons lonely. It's something I have to really be proactive about. The kids like us to hang out with other people too.

We went and fed the cat again, then to my relief, came home - I was so tired! For a few hours they had been scaling cliff-faces, climbing trees, clambering on boulders, scrambling up craggy hill-sides, plus throwing themselves around at church before that. I was ready for bed. It was 7pm so only half an hour to go til Freddie's bedtime. The first thing they said when we got in? "Can we go out on the bikes??!" We had a snack and were straight back out the front door, scooting up and and down the pavement (Bilbo on his BMX with a pet rat on his shoulder to boot)! Then we finally came in and while I was getting sorted for bedtime, I discovered them rigging up a makeshift tightrope in the bedroom!! Safe to say it is never, ever boring in my house!!!!

Life :)

I'm going to start writing some general musings on here again :) It might just be little insights into my life, there may be moments of inspiration - we'll see where it goes! I hope it will be a blessing somehow as life unfolds before us!

So just to get me started I'll think of it as a diary I guess - share what I've been up to and include any contemplations along the way if there are any! There may not be today!

So we had a fun day on Sunday :) We all enjoyed church. Included in the movement props during sung worship we had crash mats to see how far we could leap (we have had taped-out race tracks the last few weeks too - love a bit of boisterous-movement affirmation! [and, as an interesting side note: parkour is a category of contemporary dance :)]), then the older two were outdoors reenacting the ascension of Jesus (as you do) with the aid of a helium balloon :) I do not know if it had a face on it ;) Freddie was in the soft play as is his usual Sunday 'school' venue at our church :) Love it - church should be fun, and it is :) ❤️ I was actually in the service which is fairly unusual for me as I coordinate the 5-7s team, which is such a privilege and joy :)

 I made the mistake of throwing the afternoon open to the kids, and they wanted to go swimming - desperately and unanimously... I was sooo tired! But I made myself go :) We had loads of fun! (I'll leave out the bit on the way where we deliberated for half an hour at the McDonalds drive thru only to realise I'd forgotten my purse so cancelled the order with the non-plussed staff member, went all the way home for said purse with at least one child in meltdown, and then discovered I hadn't forgotten it after all...) 

Eddie can now swim unaccompanied so for the first time the older two were totally free to go off on the slides and really enjoy each other's company (and torment a few others'...) while I was only tethered to one non swimmer!! 

Yesterday (Monday) our school coffee morning's kettle set on fire and the whole school was evacuated - two fire engines etc, so that was a fun way to start the day! Bilbo was frustrated to see his prayers almost answered but not quite!! Freddie and I still got our cake for breakfast so we were happy... Then we went to Aldi followed by nursery for him while I spent the afternoon being productive - yay! -filling in forms - at least it's getting done... 

After having a school friend for a play and feeding a cat, and playing with our own animals, we managed despite/because of the cocopops and sweets we had just injested (which I let them have on my shopping days), to sit at the table to eat together (three of us anyway; I call that a win)! Chicken korma - which no one complained about!! -and wrote some things we're thankful for to put in our gratitude jar which lives on the table (and is labelled 'Yrattitude Jar' by my 7 year old) :) Then, because the kids found the buggy which has been unearthed to go on eBay, I ended up racing my oversized children up and down the street in that, to their squeals of glee, in the rain, til bedtime!! 

This morning Freddie and I went to Small Voices Big Noises at Walkley Library which is our highlight of the week :) The guy is brilliant with his guitar, violin, charisma, dancing and brilliant children's songs from around the world, my personal favourite today being Mr Kippety-Kay, an Australian offering :)

Til next time!

Christianity is simple ;)

C/o Rolland Baker (a paraphrased flavour of what he said last night) 

What is Christianity anyway? Is it a way to live? The Christian life comes in many guises. Is it about health and prosperity? Is it about the simple life? Is it a political thing - trying to convince everyone to agree with your theology? Is it about reversing climate change and taking care of the earth? Is it about how to be the best you you can be? Is it bringing heaven to earth? Is it a code of ethics? Is it a set of doctrines? Is it about strategies? Is it about saving the world? ...Or could it be to do with your private life with your Lover?

-It's a person! 

What is revival? It's a person - showing up - the reviver. What are the keys to revival? How do we 'save the world', feed the starving masses, end wars, bring world peace? Answer: no idea! Nobody knows! We're all just people! God's the one in control! Just show up!

The outworkings of our faith are neither here nor there in a sense - Christianity can be lived-out in countless legitimate ways and otherwise, but loving God isn't so much about our public lives as it is about our private lives, and it's about being in love rather doing things to try and get closer to Him. Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."   Seeking Him with all your heart isn't easy - love isn't always easy - but it's possible and it's worth it. Alternatively, you too can just sit there (and not find Him)! John 3:30 "He must increase but I must decrease". Matthew 22:37 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind".

Do we really have free will or control over what happens in the world anyway? Did you choose to be British? Did you choose to be male or female? Did you choose what family to be born into, what background you'd have, what colour your hair would be? God's in control, not us! "Oh but we need to pray. Maybe we're not praying *hard* enough. ...We need to learn *how* to pray. We need strategies. We need training in mission. We need professional missionaries!"... What is prayer? It's a person. Do we pray to change God's mind? To convince him of something? To remind him about something? He does what he likes - we pray because we love the person we're praying to. 

Is Christianity all about strategies and hard slog and doing and trying and suffering and being somber all the time? Was Jesus always like that? What have we got to be joyful about anyway? Maybe eternal life? That we have nothing to worry about? Forgiveness of all our sins? That we have the perfect Lover? Direct access to the creator of the universe? ...You know the reason most people don't go to church? Coz they've been in one once ;) It used to be a requirement that we feast and be merry and party, now it's optional so... 

We need to stop taking ourselves so seriously! Nehemiah 8:10 "Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Psalm 16:11 "You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." Alternatively, you too can be miserable! ;) We can have suffering contests til the cows come home but if we want strength we need joy and to get joy we need to be seeking his presence.

Experimenting

After a long break, I've decided to return to this medium to record my thoughts and moments rather than Facebook as I find the latter somewhat all-consuming and it sucks me in whenever I go on to 'just quickly check something'; so this should avoid that. I'll start very simply with a couple of pics of today, just to see if I can figure out how to, never having put any photos on here (I seem to have favoured long monologues in the past!!). I like to capture the happy moments of the day to help me to remember and dwell on the positives!! Rest assured I am under no illusion that life is a bed of roses! We had a lovely little time at Baskin' Robins after school due to me both running out of time to take a snack and having a craving for sugar that could not be as easily satisfied as usual owing to my being off milk chocolate for lent :)    

Challenging Behaviour Strategies

I thought I'd share some strategies I find useful for when my eldest is heading for/has gone off the scale! They have come from my paediatric nurse training and various workshops I've been to. I just wrote them out for my parents to help them feel empowered and avoid reaching the end of their tether. In case helpful for anyone :) It's relevant whether the presenting behaviour is hyperactivity or anger, or whatever:

De-escalation is the name of the game. It's a skill so it can be learnt; it might go against the grain but it saves everybody's blood pressure!! So:

Keep yourself calm; be the bigger person; research shows if you focus on breathing slowly the child will do the same without you needing to say anything about it. 

Speak slowly and quietly. This will help the child slow down. It's the opposite of how you feel but if you act how you feel then the situation escalates and doesn't end well.

Distract and redirect yourself and him from the situation: eg give a closed positive choice: would you like to do x or y? (Eg go and chill out over there or run ahead [one calm choice, one lively choice]). This may spark an idea of his own which is also fine. *I have found this one really helpful*

Another form of distraction is to ask him to help you, eg with his littlest brother - sometimes that different focus and responsibility turns out to make all the difference.

Swap with another adult if possible. Avoid ganging up even though you may both be feeling exasperated.

Wherever possible consciously keep at least two paces away from the child (to avoid throttling them!).

Pick your battles. As long as the child's behaviour isn't dangerous to themselves or others, or going to break anything that matters, let them get it out of their system, eg stamping up the stairs/shouting/slamming door etc; this isn't a time that trying to reason with him will work - just give him a wide berth! 

Where possible remove something that's causing/exacerbating the problem (eg yourself..., or perhaps, for example, if hitting Brother calmly remove brother) 

Use positive language, eg you can go out there rather than you can't go in there.

Don't talk about consequences.

Notice any tiny positive thing and emphasise it - celebrate every little thing - eg that was kind to put the x down/you're using your self control really well by...

When you have both calmed down, which may be minutes to days later, listen to how he felt about what happened and tell him how you felt. Work together to find solutions. Tell him some of the things you love about him and reassure him that you still love him just as much - the behaviour doesn't affect that. In the meantime debrief with another adult, in person or online.

When reflecting with the child have two stages:

1. I was/I felt (give them language, preferably written down as a focus eg cross, sad, happy, frustrated, tired, bored, angry, fed up, surprised, anxious, embarrassed, confident, determined, scared, silly, jealous, lonely, hopeful, any others?)

2. Next time I would like to (say sorry, do another activity, go and see mummy or daddy, go outside, go somewhere else, something else?)

I'm often told that I am unusually patient and peaceful! I think it's because I generally employ these strategies without thinking about it these days (there are exceptions!!) rather than allowing myself to get drawn in! The hardest bit is that the precise moment you need to delve deep into your reserves for these strategies is the precise moment you may actually explode... I quite enjoy the personal challenge; hopefully you will too (if you don't already)! ;) xxxx

Facebook Fast

A friend, who happens to be a university chaplain on sebatical and spending much of it researching internet residents/non-residents, asked me yesterday what my experience of fasting Facebook for Lent has been like. I thought I'd post my resulting reflections here :) I have definitely found it liberating. I am enjoying living my life in 3D, free from the self-imposed enslavement that Facebook brings. It feels good not to be translating life experiences into stati as they happen, not to be wanting to portray myself in a certain way and instead just getting on with being. That's part of why it feels liberating. I've been spending a heck of a lot more time with God, reading the bible, listening to UCB Christian Radio, singing worship songs, writing out scriptures that catch my attention and sticking them on the wall, praying. I'd rather get my identity and intimacy from my my creator anyway :) It has crossed my mind that maybe I'm brain washing myself in so-doing but I figure washing my brain can't be a bad thing as long as it's with good stuff, right? "Whatever is pure, whatever is noble, whatever is praiseworthy, think of such things" - that's somewhere in the bible :) My fast also happens to have coincided with the most stressful, anxiety-ridden few weeks of my life so I'm glad I haven't been distracted by Facebook when I have felt summoned to go deeper with God because I don't want to miss a trick with Him, especially at times like this, but also at all times; He knows best (maybe that's why, in His grace, this intensely challenging time has happened when I haven't been sucked into Facebook?).

I haven't been legalistic about my fast; my sister had a baby in America at the beginning of Lent so I have been going onto her account to see the pics, and glancing at my pm's while I'm there, to check I'm not missing any important messages, and I've allowed myself Sundays off (or should I say on?). But on those Sundays it feels strange to me that I found Facebook so all consuming before because now it holds far less appeal than it did. I like to see what people are up to and feel in touch with people I don't see but I am really pleased the whole thing has lost its grip on me! As a single mum Facebook can feel like my connection with the outside world when I'm on my own in the house of an evening but actually, as I have read during this time, "In vain we rise early and *stay up late*, for the Lord grants sleep to those He loves" (also somewhere in the bible) and I have been going to bed with the kids and feeling much better for it (not that my eldest goes to bed that early)! So I like Facebook but I think I will use it differently from now on, trying to avoid using it to present myself in certain ways (I've gone off politics anyway!), and also giving it its right place in my life so I don't gravitate towards it so much xxxxxxx